Saturday, July 7, 2012

i hate vegas...

are actually words that i texted to walker the second i arrived.  no offense to anyone.

a few weeks back we celebrated em's weekend of singleness in vegas.  so did her fiance david.  it was joint.  20 dudes.  5 girlz.  you do the math.

em is my best friend.  she is the prettiest, sincerest, smartest person i know.  however we are very different.  not bad different.  just different.  think angie and jen.
for example: 
night 1:  libba gets ready in 20 minutes. making sure to spend more time on her stringy locks - to get some vegas volume.  i walk into the next room to find the girls are still on curl number one.  so i wait.  they ask me what i am going to do with my hair. i tell them my hair is done.  they tell me it looks great.  i go back in put my hair in a pony tail.  they ask what i am going to wear.  i tell them what i have on.  they tell me i look great but not so subtly suggest about 5 other outfits i should think about.  i try them on.  i look in the mirror - i have an obnoxiously short dress that looks painted on - except for the chest area, where it is baggy.  they tell me it looks great.  i take it off because when i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, i don't see sexy, i see a girl i would secretly judge.  in a bad way.

should have done the spray tan. 
soon to be loftons
mustache straws. check.

day 2 pool.  100 plus degrees out.  i slept maybe 4 hours.  i get ready in 5 minutes.  bikini, cut offs, tank top, ray bans, sunscreen, bravo condom hat.  i walk into the room and the girls are still getting ready.  full face of make up - like eyeshadow full. curling iron on.  bedazzled bikinis with ruffles.  dresses over bedazzled bikinis.  heals. floppy hats.  chandelier earrings.  i get confused and ask if we are indeed going down to the pool.  they laugh at me and my dumb questions.  i secretly take out my goggles and pool toys that i have packed for the occasion and put on some mascara. no marco polo for this crowd.

hmmm.  someone looks out of place. and white.

i opted out of this photo opp.  weird.  they are babes.
cute the f alert.

i was self conscious for 48 hours strait.  it didn't help that all of david's friends asked me asked how i knew em.  when i told them i was her sister, they were shocked.  when they found out i was her younger sister, they were double shocked.  i had the either the alternative cousin or the childhood best friend that you have grown apart from, but are forced to invite because she knows all your secrets look going for me the entire weekend.


red pants = hamazing
sista sista

the weekend was a blast. now, if there is one thing that will settle differences and make one feel less pale and less chubby, it's vodka.  so i drank a lot of it.  we partied.  we partied hard.  janea and i walked home both nights when the sun was going up.  the sun was up people.  em looked amazing and had the most fun. ever. david had a blast and wore red pants.  his group of friends were the best, except for one, who was the worst.  reminded me of college days.  her wedding is going to be off.the.chain. 7/28/2012 or bust.

until next time vegas.